The Eurovision song contest has been going since 1956 and was originally meant to be a way of bringing everyone in Europe together and increase relations after the second world war. All the countries participating would vote on their favourite song to decide the winner who would host the contest the next year. However, there was one big oversight regarding the peace and friendly competition. Because it was a contest it became hotly contested and political right from the start.
In 1956 all countries were allowed to vote for themselves, which became a problem when the voting party from Luxembourg were unable to make it to the contest. Instead, they let the Swiss voting party vote on Luxembourg’s behalf. Can you guess who they gave their votes to? I’ll give you a hint, Switzerland ended up winning that year and no second or third place holders were announced. Probably because it turned out something like this.
1st Place: Switzerland who received votes from Switzerland and Luxembourg (by proxy from Switzerland).
Equal 2nd Place: Every other country that just voted for themselves (with exception of Switzerland and Luxembourg).
Last Place: Luxembourg who received no votes.
To be fair, each country did present two songs that year. So it probably wasn’t that simple. However it forced the rule that you couldn’t vote for your own country. So instead all the countries just vote for their neighbouring countries.
Yes, the voting is crazy. But that’s not why I like Eurovision. I like it for the incredibly poor quality of songs. You see, I love a good train wreck. So here are my top 10 trainwercks ever presented at the Eurovision Song contest (that I have come across). This was only going to be a top 5, but there was just too much to choose from.
#10: Ukraine 2007 – The Most Perplexing Thing You Will Ever See
(Finished 2nd out 24 of in the Final with 268 Points)
#9: Norway 1978 – The Single Reason Norway Are Famous For Being The Worst At Eurovision
(Finished 20th out of 20 with 0 Points)
#8: Austria 1977 – Most Offensive Song to Australians and Everyones Eyes
(Finished 17th out of 18 with 11 Points)
#7: Germany 1998 – The Song For All Of You With Short Attention Spans
(Finished 7th out of 25 with 86 Points)
#6: Bulgaria 2009 – Worst Way to Make Your Ears Ring in Pain
(Finished 16th out of 18 in the 1st Semi Final with 7 Points and Failed to Progress to the Final)
#5: Czech Republic 2008 – Worst Produced Soundtrack in Human History
(Placed 18th out of 19 in the 2nd Semi Final with 9 Points and Failed to Progress to the Final)
#4: Spain 2006 – Worst Attempt When It Comes To Making an Effort
(Finished 21st out of 24 in the Final with 21 Points)
Spain Automatically Qualified for The Final as a “Big 4” Country
#3: United Kingdom 2003 – Worst Attempt At Singing In Tune
(Finished 26th out of 26 with 0 Points)
#2: Estonia 2008 – Most Catastrophic Attempt At Humour
(Finished 18th out of 19 in the 1st Semi Final with 8 Points and Failed to Progress to the Final)
#1: Israel 2000 – Most Orwellian Performance and Quite Clearly The Worst Song Ever
(Finished 22nd out of 24 with 7 Points)
Tune in tomorrow where I attempt to assault your eyes with what would quite possibly be the worst story ever written.